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Sunday, June 30, 2013

Quote For the Week


I love Bob Marley and marrying a reggae musician has kept Bob Marley in my life. Some of my most favorite quotes come from him. I have always been impressed with his laid back, chill look on life. He looked at everything in a positive matter, and never let anything bring him down. Although, I may not agree with all his views,  I agree for the most part with his philosophy on life. He deserves to be the legend he is today. You will find I put a lot of his quotes on my blog.

This weeks quote:

"Live the life you love, Love the life you live."
Bob Marley

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Quote For The Week



6/26/13--I love Quotes. I find them inspiring and a nice way to express your feelings without having to say a lot of words. So I've decided to share some of my favorite Quotes on my blogger. I will start posting a weekly Quote, I hope you find them just as inspiring. I will begin with my own personal quote on life:

 "My philosophy on life is to always find the good in everything. No matter how bad things get there is always a lesson to be learned, whether it be through experiences, friends, family, work, illness, love, or an enemy, it's only when you stop wanting to learn that you have failed life, life doesn't fail you."  MJ Tupou

Friday, June 21, 2013

Some Marriage Advice

To all the Married Men and Women out there--

We spend our entire life being groomed to someday find that perfect man/ woman.

As little girls we imagine our dream wedding, even cut out magazine clippings of the perfect wedding dress,  flowers,  dream cake, wedding colors and the perfect wedding ring.
We stress over our figures, always dieting to be as attractive as we possibly can be in order to catch our Prince Charming's when he comes along. Making sure our make up is flawless, our hair is perfect, and baby soft skin.
We've learned body language, how to flirt just enough to get his attention, but not too much that there isn't any mystery to keep him interested.

Men, have learned to be as masculine as they can, or as smooth as an operator, walking around without their shirts on to catch our attention with their inevitable six pack. Showing off for us, yes we notice! knowing how smile just enough to be sexy.  Learning how to shower us with gifts and making us feel like we are number one.

We have invested so much of our lives in catching that "Perfect" person, no one told us what to do once we found them. After walking down that isle and the honeymoon phrase is over, soon comes children,  the fairytale story soon becomes reality, with screaming children, bills to pay, no sleep, no privacy, not always agreeing on everything, sometimes illness, stress of taking care of a family can change a person. The stress can take a toll on a marriage. So many of us fall into the unwanted trap of playing house and pretending you are a perfect couple, substituting happiness and love with materialistic things, vacations, keeping up with the "jones" We have put a value on love, marriage, and family with statue: the neighborhood we live in, the house we own, the schools our children attend, the cars we drive, how many activities we can do in one week, how many promotions we are given. We become so caught up in the everyday living of society, that we forget the simple thing that brought us together in the first place. Love, laughter and simply living for one another.
It is too easy to become a statistic in society with divorce rising and a two-parent household becoming the minority. So I have put together a list of ways to hold on to your spouse and marriage. This is purely my opinion based on my own personal experiences and you are entitled to agree or not agree.


"Real giving is when we give to our spouses what's important to them, whether we understand it, like it, agree with it, or not." Michele Weiner-Davis

My advice for Woman in keeping your man:

1. Don't stop putting on your makeup and taking care of yourself. Just because he walked down the isle with you doesn't mean you need to stop investing time in keeping him attracted to you. Take pride in yourself and in how you look, when you feel good about yourself, it rubs onto him and he wants to be around you.

2. Don't stop cooking him dinner. Cook for him like you did when you wanted to impress him in the beginning of your relationship. I know woman work just as hard as the man, but sometimes something as simple as making him dinner can show him you appreciate his hard work. He may even surprise you with dinner when you come home from work, because he wants to show you he cares too. It's the simple deeds that go along ways in a marriage and pretty soon you find both of you are wanting to make one another happy all the time.

3. Don't become resentful. When you have to take care of the kids, work, cook, clean and be wife, mother, doctor, housemaid, and chauffeur. Remember, it's a maternal instinct to want to be "Superwoman" and you can't resent him because you are trying to be too much all by yourself.  So many men believe if he brings home the bacon and provide for his family he has done his duty.  It doesn't mean he loves you any less. 

4. Show interest in your man. Be willing to share the TV and watch his sports. Invite people over(your friends and his) for Sporting events to make it fun for you, The things you dislike about him, find a way to make it interesting, you might just discover you are enjoying the things you didn't like. Soon, he may surprise you with watching one of those "girly" movies we know all men hate to watch, but he will do it for you.

5. Don't get mad when he leaves the toilet seat up! Be thankful he respected you enough to not pee on the toilet seat. He was thinking of you by leaving the toilet seat up. haha 

6. Never go to bed mad! Girls we hold grudges more than men. They will move on and think it's over when we are still mad. It's best to resolve arguments before going to bed. It's not good to fall asleep with all that anger. At the beginning of everyday and at the end of everyday take time to yourselves to remember why you are married. 

7. Keep a journal. When you find it hard to remember why you are married you can revisit entries that will remind you why you fell in love, and what it was about this person you chose to spend the rest of your life with. Always write Pro's and Con's. They will change over the years, as people change and mature, but as long as your Pro's outweigh the Con's you are still on the right track.

8. Don't expect things to be perfect! No one is perfect. when your spouse goes through changes accept his changes (as long as they are not harmful!). Your spouse will change over the years as they reach different maturity levels with age and as life events happen it will change a person. The best advice I was given early in my marriage, " you can leave and find someone else, but that new person will have their own set of problems too. Nobody is perfect. You need to decide what set of problems you are willing to live with, and what set of problems you are not willing to live with. Set boundaries, if your spouse hasn't crossed those boundaries, then be willing to deal with whatever his problems may be and accept him for who he is."

9. Don't NAG. Yes, I said it. It's one thing to talk and let him know you're upset or don't like something, talk it over with him and move on,  but don't live in the past and continue to bring it up over and over. Don't constantly remind your partner of everything they are doing wrong, pretty soon they will believe it and turn into the person you say they are. 

10. Be true to yourself. Never forget who you are! That is who he fell in love with in the first place. Don't become somebody he didn't fall in love with.  Be the best woman you know how to be and true to your heart and you will always be the woman your husband married. He will fall in love with you all over again everyday.

My advice for men to keep your woman:

1. Love her,  She is the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with and the person you chose to be the mother of your children. Honor her and never take her for granted, never make her feel like you don't love her.

2. Don't be prideful.  Your pride can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Allow yourself to be humbled. There is nothing a woman loves more than a man who can cry. It doesn't mean you are weak, but that you are human. Allow your spouse to be your strength, as you are hers. Don't be so prideful that you lose your direction.

3. Make your family priority. Don't be so involved in your career, that you forget why you are working in the first place. There is nothing more lonely than coming home to an empty house. No money in the world is worth losing your family.  Make sure you have time for your loved ones.

4. Be there emotionally. Don't allow yourself to become roommates, you need to remember why you wanted to marry her and never let that passion die. Remember to make her feel as important to you as she did the day you married her.  If you do this there isn't anything she won't do to make you happy.

5. Show your spouse respect. Be the kind of man to your wife you want your daughter to marry. And set the example of what kind of man you want your son to be. They will follow in your footsteps.

6. Listen. When girls talk to you we don't want you to fix everything, sometimes we just need you to be our friend and listen.

7. Be her strength,  No wife wants to feel like she has to be your mother too. Remember she married you to be your companion and to be your best friend, Allow her to be that. 

8. Be her friend.   Remember you are married.  Marriage is a "WE" This doesn't make you weak it's makes you friends to include each other. If you're hurting or stressed, talk to your wife, include her, don't shut down. this will bring you closer.

9. Be honest!  No marriage can survive secrets or lies. This goes for woman too!

10. Be prepared. Never forget your anniversary, valentines, birthdays, or any other special day in your marriage. Make plans, don't ever just assume your partner will make plans,  or ask your partner what they want to do. (NO, NO) make an effort to let your partner know they are important to you, that you went out of your way to make it special, even, if it's just a dinner at home or a car ride or a walk,  just the two of you, doesn't need to be expensive or extravagant, ,just needs to let her know she is important to you.

Finally for both partners:

Be the kind of person when you are apart, you will be missed. Be the person your partner can't live without. 

 I know that everyone at some point in their marriage questions wether they made the right choice. I found this saying below during a time in my life when I was questioning my decision in who I married. I love this authors philosophy. Once I started looking at life in this point of view I became a happier person and my marriage became a happier one.  So I will end with this saying:

"I have no way of knowing whether or not you married the wrong person, but I do know that many people have a lot of wrong ideas about marriage and what it takes to make that marriage happy and successful. I'll be the first to admit that it's possible that you did marry the wrong person. However, if you treat the wrong person like the right person, you could well end up having married the right person after all. On the other hand, if you marry the right person, and treat that person wrong, you certainly will have ended up marrying the wrong person. I also know that it is far more important to be the right kind of person than it is to marry the right person. In short, whether you married the right or wrong person is primarily up to you." Zig Ziglar