A First Time for Everything

Wow! My first Blog. Hmmmm. What to say?

"SOMETIMES THE THINGS WE CANNOT CHANGE... END UP CHANGING US"

This seems to be my theme in life. Growing up I had my whole life planned out, as most little girls do. How many children I was going to have, my children's names, my wedding day, where I was going to live, what I was going to be when I grew up. Long story short this did not happen the way I imagined it would. 

I did get married, have children, live in beautiful places and have good jobs, but none of it was what I planned. I've made some wonderful choices in my life and I've made some not so wonderful choices in my life. It wasn't until I was much older in life, that I understood how those choices would affect my life.

"WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE MY LIFE? I KNOW I'M NOT PERFECT AND I DON'T LIVE TO BE, BUT, BEFORE YOU START POINTING FINGERS MAKE SURE YOUR HANDS ARE CLEAN." Bob Marley

Now, being of middle age status. I have stepped back and taken a look at my life. One of my biggest lessons I've had to learn is to accept, that I'm not in control of the people in my life, but I am in control of how I deal with situations in my life. 
This week my middle school aged daughter reminded me of this and she was a perfect example of teaching me how to deal with something we cannot control. 

 One of her school friends took his life. This was the first time she has experienced death and having it be someone her own age was especially hard for her. In life we expect our elders to die. Everyone is born and everyone dies, but it's always hard when it's a child, and  have it be a child who took his life, it's just not natural, and I struggled all week with what to say to take my daughters pain away. Her school had counselors available all week to talk to the students struggling with this tragic death. I kept imagining what if, it had been my child and I could only feel for the parents that were having to deal with this tragedy in their life. My daughter came home the first 3 days from school and went straight to bed, I know she was overwhelmed with feelings that she wasn't sure how to process at the age of 13. I hesitated to let her go to the viewing, but chose to take her. I can't shelter her from death and I wanted her to understand how real and permanent it is and that every choice we make in life has consequences, that we don't always have answers too. I doubt this young man thought about the pain he was going to put his family and friends through, and I felt it was important for her to learn that in life our choices don't only affect us, our choices affect everyone around us. She went to the funeral the following day, and when I came home from work planned to take her to dinner and do something positive with her so she wasn't depressed, To my surprise when I walked in the house she and her friends were making bracelets to hand out in school asking for donations, they wanted to start up a charity for unhappy teens and the importance of staying alive, so no other teen in their school had to feel alone.  I can't express how proud I was of my daughter at that very moment. She learned more than I had learned. I was walking on eggshells all week not knowing what to say to her and  instead that day she taught me about integrity. I was concerned about her and here she was concerned about others and making a difference. She was my perfect example of how you choose to deal with situations that you can't control in your life.

"IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW MANY DAYS ARE IN YOUR LIFE, BUT, HOW MUCH LIFE IS IN YOUR DAY".
Anonymous

I have so much in my life to be thankful for, to be angry for, to be bitter about, but I choose to write and hope that my life can make a difference in someone else's. I choose to be happy and in control of my choices. I choose to make a difference.

There is always something to be learned through our trials, and sometimes we even become humbled through someone else's trials.

I hope by sharing this blog and my life stories I may touch someone.